Lists & Ramblings (i.e. it won't make sense, but it will be organized!)

It's Monday. It's raining. I reserve the right to be melancholy!

I'm falling back into the non-blogging. It probably goes back to a couple of resons:

1) I attempt to be as eloquent, witty, and charming as some of the blogs I read and let's just face it - I'm none of the above!
2) I keep saying "I don't have time." Yet, I somehow have time to read the other million and one blogs that I keep up with almost daily.
3) Nothing significant has happened worthy of blogging.
4) Knowing who potentially may read it makes me very leary of what I type.

Now, while 1, 2, and 3 are very true and carry a lot of weight I think 4 is my main hold up. And since I'm in a list mood evidently, it could be from several things.

1) I don't want to say anything that would offend someone.
2) My reputation for being perfect (HAHAHAHAHA! Sorry.. I'm back) or my desire for my reputation to be perfect and I could say/write something that would tarnish it.
3) It would make me to stinkin' vulnerable!

A friend said recently "it's a shame - you can tell some people just aren't comfortable in their own skin." We were discussing how it's hard to make true friends and the fronts/masks people put up. The friend's point (or my interpretation of the point) was that when you are comfortable with who you are, who God made you to be, you don't have to put up a front. You simply say "this is who I am". And as simple as that is - it can be extremely difficult for an approval addict. I want people to like me. And in desiring that - I lose myself. Over and over again. And if allowed - I lose my relationship with God. So we are going to try to remove this mask a layer at a time. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. So here's me:

1) I am loud and will often break out in song or laugh at inappropiate times.
2) My friends are important to me. Mess with them, mess with me. I'm loyal to a fault at times.
3) I am not perfect. I often put my foot in my mouth when I speak rashly (which is a lot more often than I care to admit!)
4) God is the most important thing in my life. I will talk about Him and church and the ministries I am involved in at length. Get ready.

"I'm not perfect, just forgiven. Haven't yet arrived, but I'm on my way. Since Jesus found me, and forgave me - I can't say I'm perfect, but I can say I'm saved."

And isn't that what it's all about anyway?